Wednesday, April 11, 2007
fucking hell...
MID-YEARS
the emerald ocean
8:01:00 PM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
get the fucking hell out of my life.shit.victoria, stop it.pull yourself together,don't think about _____ anymore.its not good.don't do it.(don't bother counting the underscores, they're random)
the emerald ocean
9:35:00 PM
i don't know what to do anymore.
what to say,what to think.
who am i? in your mind?
am i just another girl?
i'll breakdown if thats what i am
cos all this time i told myself,
i can't get into it,
i can't let myself get hurt.
but now that i think i can trust you.
you'll break my heart if you say
i'm just another one.
i'm not a stupid old-fashioned girl,
i don't fall for your every sweet word,
i'm suspicious at everything you say,
cos i can't get hurt, not again,
i watch for a trick,
i wait for the kill,
i make sure i'm comfortable
before i trust you,
so don't betray my trust,
its a valuable thing to hold,
please don't make me cry,
sometimes i worry,
that maybe, just maybe,
you'll get so angry that you'll leave me,
cos i wouldn't be able to bear it,
i'd just cry where ever i am,
i want you to hold me forever,
tightly in your arms,
but how would i know,
you might just wanna go,
and i won't ever get you back...
its just my thoughts, paragraphed.
forgive the sloppiness.
the emerald ocean
9:02:00 PM
Monday, April 09, 2007
seperation anxiety.nevermind about that.anyway.i'm pretty lost.i think blogging makes me emo.yes,it does.brings out the inner feelingsthat are unnecessary,makes me think of the past.i'm starting a story.gotta see where its going,it might actually have some depth.anyway,i might post it here.when its done.which is,maybe never.anyway,i'm super sleepy.and guess what.my dad bought me my own printerand scanner! i love my dad. this is way more freedom.happiness,haha.i got a headache.stupid mass run.i hate mass run.i dun wanna run.ughi'm totally crapping can?ugh. gtg
the emerald ocean
10:05:00 PM
Sunday, April 08, 2007
kiss this girl goodbye,
sing her a lullaby,
cos this is the last time,
you'll ever see her...
when tomorrow comes,
there's just the empty bed,
she'll be gone so far,
you'll never get her back,
she won't be all alone,
cos someone else is missing too.
both of them have gone away,
to a land that only they can find...
you will be crying,
that she has left you there,
but its your own fault,
she held on so long,
she knew she couldn't wait anymore.
so she left,
her shadow swept the doorway,
she was running down the path,
so silent that no one awoke,
you tried to find her,
but it was too late,
she was gone to a place,
where she can forget you...
but she knows she can never get away,
as long as you long for her,
the memory will stay,
she's trying to fight it,
she may be back someday,
she knows she belongs there,
she knows its for the best,
so let her go.
stop longing for her,
let her be happy away from you,
let her go.
she's crying,
she knows you aren't letting go.
she's crying,
she's all confused,
she's crying and she'll never stop,
til she comes back to you,
but she's strong,
she knows she should never come back,
stop making her more confused,
let her go,
it is time,
let the past be the past,
don't try to make her come back,
let her be happy there,
let her go...
once again.i wrote this
the emerald ocean
11:34:00 PM
sometimes i wonder if x has a secret life
that no one knows abt. of if x is secretly
in love with someone. thats just siao. but
one cant help but be curious. anyway,
onto happy things, i got my haircut today!
yay. i've been wanting to do that. it looks
better now. and and and. i ordered a new
pair of specs ! green frameless. i've never
had green. so i thot i'll try it. my
astigmatism went up. the whole thing plus
lens cos $270. wah. freaking ex. my astig
is over the shop's usual range alrd. left is
275, right 250. thats super scary ok.
singapore only gets specs uptil 400. im only
sec 2! omg. they have to special order lor.
so i can only get it in 7-10 days time. i got
a new pair of slippers. my black ones broke
after mass. anyway. today was an ok day.
one of the better sundays.
oh yeah, saturday was suppose to be the
preview for NPDP but it rained like siao.
thunder n lightning and everything. haha
but it was so so so nice. we got to put our
stuff in the classrooms. gold unit flag bearers
were in classroom 39 =D haha. there's only
seven girls out of thirty six of us ok, omg.
we got to have our meal in the mess hall!
its considered special. cos we got tables and
chairs. n cheese n potato wedges! and drinks!
not just water. it was so fun. n i got to wear
number 1 quite alot. i got the NPDP polo tee!
its nice. n its so sad cos i can only wear it for
NPDP trainings, den it'll be left to rot. cos all
my squadmates don't have it so we cant like
all wear it for camp or what. dunno what i'll
do with it. anyway.straight after training, i
went back on mrt. rushed home. bathed,
changed, den walked to the yeow's place.
joined in BBQ. wah. i was damn tired. anyway,
this thursday is unit stand down ! yay. omg.
so needing the break. but, if im lucky,(ha)
they might just decide to have extra NPDP
training on that day. if they do, i will scream.
ok. i gtg finish my maths n learn ting xie.
haiyoh.
sth's fishy
the emerald ocean
9:06:00 PM
Friday, April 06, 2007
my horoscope is pissing me off.
the emerald ocean
6:07:00 PM
Thursday, April 05, 2007
i wanna scream and shout
cry it out.
let it all go.
the emerald ocean
11:05:00 PM
fucking hell.
life sucks.
wah lao.
preview on saturday,
freaking nervous.
go away.
the emerald ocean
10:58:00 PM
some of the quotes from shakesphere's
'the merchant of venice'
which i had to memorise and perform
this afternoon.
"all but one seem as gamblers,
who seek only the status a rich prize may bring,
how may i know,
that he who chooses rightly the casket,
loves me and not my name and wealth."
"to a colt he may seem such, perhaps
now quit thy capering,
and bring the good man forth."
"would thou have me as a meal to be consumed,
O prince?
take care, lest i cause thee indigestion."
"and to thy desserts,
i shall have a lifetime in estimation,
for you hast chosen truly and i am yours.
not simply by my father's decree,
but willingly do i marry thee.
upon the same rack lay i beside thee,
whilst you chose,
and now our marriage bed promises sweet repose,
come and bear the weighty news to the household."
the emerald ocean
12:04:00 AM
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
people. we need a 6a'05 reunion.
a real one. where at least 90% of the
ppl come. i miss you guys so much man.
i wanna see how much everyone has
changed. and everyone can see how
much I'VE changed. quite alot actually.
since mcs days. the hair, the specs, the
piercings...n blah blah blah. i'm different.
i think. naughtier. more daring maybe.
considering i hardly dared to do anything
back then. i didn't even dare to take bus
by myself. i'm way more independent now.
and keeping a boyfriend a secret from
parents is especially hard cos i talk so
much. and i'm much tanner. i've grown a
little taller. yeah. there should be more,
but i'm going through the transitional
stage. still trying out whats best for me.
and i'm pretty happy now. except that
i have a 4 day overdue haircut. i should
cut my hair every 1 1/2 months so it'll
be nice and layered and in shape all the
time. now its a little longer and thicker
than i'd like it to be. anyway. hoping i can
get it done on saturday. i gtg now. sleep
is calling.
sometimes a breather is good,my phone bills don't suffer so much.
the emerald ocean
11:52:00 PM
no offence to anyone,
but i think six years being shut up in a girls school
really deprives people of exposure.
i mean, i know quite a few 6a'05 ppl that
have gotten boyfriends since leaving mcs.
me too. anyway. i don't think i'm making
sense but i mean its like, secondary school
really releases a whole much more freedom
into your life. well, on to other things. i'm stuck
to my immortal by evanescence.
the lyrics are beautiful. i dun really know
what to blog about.sometimes i wish
the real NPDP would come faster.
cos i'm freaking tired. tmr is maundy thursday
n we have to go visit churches n i have training
so i have to rush like siao to go home n bathe n
change first den go out. wah lao. i'll be like a zombie
lah, so tired.i can go out on sunday ! omg,
so happy, haha. aiyoh. dunno what to say,
i'll be back later maybe
the emerald ocean
8:40:00 PM
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
i am too obvious.
oh man.
i think too many ppl know.
ahhh !!!!
the emerald ocean
12:18:00 AM
Monday, April 02, 2007
my mum said.
love is unconditional.
well.
i'll take that as reference,
he came and met me at school.
n took bus back with me.
but we were so late.
both kena parents scolding.
aiyoh.
but it was fun.
i love being loved.
haha.
thats just weird.
anyway.
i gotta say.
i made the most teen-like decision.
n im proud of it.
haha.
thats just siao.
anyway,
i dont feel like blogging.
i wanna sleep.
baby, we're just so fine.
the emerald ocean
10:23:00 PM
Sunday, April 01, 2007
that was a moment of randomness.
anyway. i love simultaneous linear
equations, except, i'm not so good at
them. haha. do you that when they
say life is a rollar coaster ride, it never
ends? until you die. i mean, in real rides
you get off after a while. and you know
it'll end pretty quick. but in the "ride
of your life" you can't get off? omg.
considering you don't get into accidents,
get murdered, or commit suicide, you'll
be on a rollar coaster for 70-90 years!
omg. someone please tell me that thats
overdose. cos it is. roller coasters are
so crazy. don't you get a chance to
settle down? oh man. ugh. now i'm
really going mad! i'm arguing against
a figure of speech. who in the world
does that ?!?! ugh.
2 weeks, 5 days.day counts have started again.a spoon of caring,a drop of understanding,a sprinkle of unselfishness,a dash of kindness.with a touch of communication,this cup of LOVE is best served warm.
the emerald ocean
12:59:00 PM
"gd nite my sweetypie,
my cutypie my pineapple pie
my dearest pie my chio pie
my adorable pie talented pie
and many mur ... sweetest
dreamsssss... muacks love
you 4ever!!!!!!"
yes its an sms that i received.
someone please tell me thats
just crazy. =D
the emerald ocean
12:54:00 PM
