Saturday, February 03, 2007

28 days.sometimes i dread going to
gramma's hse bcos SOMEONE will have
to make my life miserable. my dad.
interrogating me about wat im doing. not
trusting me, scolding me as we get there
or as we leave. it doesnt matter. it just
hurts. wat parents dont realise is that
everytime they scold us , its the hurt we
feel that makes the greatest impact. they
always say its for our own good. it may be
but wat good can come out of hurt. they
dont know how angry we become, how
sad at the things they say. how harsh
they come across. how much more we
hate them after every scolding, how much
higher our urge to run away becomes.
how we become suicidal. how much they
hurt us. its us thats left there bearing the
weight of their 'comments'. they bear no
hurt, feel nothing from at they said. its us
that bear it all with increasing fury.
sometimes children when grown up cannot
be blamed for leaving their parents alone.
its the hurt they felt that they cannot forgive
their parents for. my parents think that
after the whole thing they can give me a hug
and everything is back to normal. but as much
as it seems that im agreeing, im not. the hurt
lingers and increases thru time. they never
realise it. thats why i woulnt blame someone
for running away from home, for sliting their
wrists or jumping off a building to their death.
the saddess thing is that they only become
aware of the hurt they are causing AFTER a
tragedy. well , its all their fault. they tell us to
be aware of our surroundings, dont be so blur,
well as far as i know, they're the ones with the
foggy glasses. they are the ones that are
completely unaware of what is going on . i am
going to read this blog all over again when i am
a parent n make sure i never do any of this.
i am not gonna make my kids lives miserable.
i have a feeling that my generation will make
much better parents because we'll look back at
all the hurt we had to bear n swear we'll never
do it. parents have got to just WAKE UP. n they
better, n fast. i was going to talk about happy
things but i'll leave that for tmr.they ruined my day.

seaweed
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treasure
_____________________
bloody fucking liar

mermaid
_____________________
just an adolescent,
rebelling against the
'good guys'
victoria hannah goh
051093
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shells
_____________________
a new leotard
a black leotard
new pointe shoes
a pair of heels
a pair of wedges
a polka-dot skirt
a black skirt
a new denim skirt
clothes!
more coloured bras
new phone
lose 5kg
get good grades
pass cprl promo
pass ALL promos
pass piano theory exam
pass piano exam
pass ballet exam
new alarm clock
earrings
a pair of slippers

merpeople
_____________________
tessa
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